PHP and Permissions Errors

So, here's my deal:

I'm clickity-clacking away at my keyboard, trying to whip up some PHP magic for my site, and I get messages along the lines of

Warning: fopen(http://deathdark.tfcph.com/members/userID.dat) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: HTTP wrapper does not support writeable connections. in /home/deathdar/public_html/members/register.php on line 35

This is not the first time that I've gotten these messages, and they're really dragging me down. I can only open in read or append modes, and includes don't work at all, which sucks hard. I've played around with my permissions settings a little, trying to open it up, but when I try to go anything above the presets of 0644(document) and 0755(folder), I get a 500 message (Internal Server Error).

Can I get some help?

Irradication

So, here's what I propose: The complete genocide of the Human race. Kill them all off, and then those left over kill themselves. We're doing enough damage to the planet to cause it ruin, and apparently our benefits of existance mean nothing. We can't, generally speaking, think of very much anyone beyond ourselves, and no one can really agree on anything. The human race as a whole becomes more and more moronic, and our morals are flushing themselves down the toilet. I propose that it is time to screw us all, and have whatever caused us to come here in the first place to try again.

Debating

There is a problem beginning to grow with this debate section. People looking for posts hop in and give a quick blurb about their side of things and leave. If this continues, the debate section shall die.

One cannot have a debate if all anyone ever does is state their claim. A debate is only reached when someone's claim is calmly discussed amongst individuals based upon validity, fact, logic, and morals. In order for this to happen, one who is entering into a debate after it has been well underway needs to inform themselves as to what the claims are that have been made so far, and what the current state of the debate is. If someone comes in late and re-states a claim that is already been refuted, they are merely clogging the way for debate and not allowing the debate to flow on, effectively killing it.

What am I saying, you ask? If you're going to post in a debate topic, read the topic. Yes, the entire topic. You're a little fish in a big pond, someone else already said your claim.

Marriage

Well, I was going to make this topic about Same-Sex Marriage, but the opposition thereof seems to always point towards other things eventually. Until then, this topic is officially about the Same-Sex Marriage only.

AS A NOTE: Just because someone argues for, doesn't mean they're gay. It's perfectly okay to fight for a right you never plan to exercise.

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Same-Sex marriage should be legal because God and Christian Values should not come into play with the Laws of a Free Nation. That doesn't mean we should Break God's laws, but merely to not force them down other people's throat by law. Once this factor is taken out of the picture, there is no legitimate argument against it.

Global Warming

I hate the concept of Global Warming. I don't believe that it fully exists, and even if it were to, then it means nothing.

IF God exists
THEN Global Warming is not anything we need to worry about as how it will not affect the world until He begins to pour out his wrath, at which time Global Warming is the least of your concerns.

IF God does not exist
THEN Global Warming is just another climate shift that our planet has every so often. It's unavoidable, and there's nothing that we can do to stop it.


Funny how God makes his way to all of these debates...