So, here's my deal:

I'm clickity-clacking away at my keyboard, trying to whip up some PHP magic for my site, and I get messages along the lines of

Warning: fopen(http://deathdark.tfcph.com/members/userID.dat) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: HTTP wrapper does not support writeable connections. in /home/deathdar/public_html/members/register.php on line 35

This is not the first time that I've gotten these messages, and they're really dragging me down. I can only open in read or append modes, and includes don't work at all, which sucks hard. I've played around with my permissions settings a little, trying to open it up, but when I try to go anything above the presets of 0644(document) and 0755(folder), I get a 500 message (Internal Server Error).

Can I get some help?